"Transylvania Take-Away"

This episode always makes me hungry for Chinese food.

Season 2 episode 10 (episode 36 overall)

 Original broadcast date: 14 November 1989

Writer: Jimmy Hibbert
Additional voices: Gaston/Thing/Restaurant owner/Mr. Mate/1^st policeman: Jimmy Hibbert

                               Pierre: David Jason

                               Mandarin of How Fat: Jack May

                               Pirate Cap’n/2^nd policeman: Brian Trueman

Joke credit: Filmed on Location – In Penge

Travel location: Island of Mai Chow, China

Castle transport visual used.

This was another episode I had taped off of the telly back on its original broadcast on my much-treasured Sooty & Duckula home-made VHS. It’s also one of a handful that was never released on an official VHS, so it was doubly valuable to my younger self. I seem to recall trying to write a horror story on my Dad’s typewriter, aping the opening narration of this one. Don’t think I got very far. In 1995 my brother, dad and I dubbed a copy of it over with our voices, music and sound effects. So it should come as no surprise that it remains one of my favourite episodes, but then I do also have a weakness for over-the-top Oriental characters and settings so that’s to be expected. Then again, maybe this kick-started it, along with the ridiculously funny Ah Wok out of 'Knightmare.'

The episode opens with Duckula apparently being menaced by what is supposed to be his lunch. Instead of eating the hideous mound of vegetable matter, he decides instead to order in from the new Chinese place that’s opened in the village. 

 

"Bamboo shoots in black bean sauce. I know it's been sauce, but what is it now? The old ones are the best Igor."

Unfortunately for him 'The Happy Frog' is run by ‘master crinimals’ Gaston and Pierre, who first appeared in ‘Hunchbudgie of Notre Dame’. Die-hard Cosgrove-Hall fans will no doubt be aware that these two characters were spun off into their own series a few years later as Victor and Hugo. Much of the same mannerisms and exchanges were carried over exactly, though it is worth observing that Gaston’s voice is noticeably higher and less suave than the one Jimmy Hibbert would use for Victor.

The ‘tiresome twosome’ are being hired by the Mandarin of How Fat to steal a couple of Ming vases from Castle Duckula. After some communication problems (take-away fans may sympathise with the ‘order by numbers’ routine) over the public ‘phone-box Duckula sometime uses, the Count places his order and the crooks duly deliver. 

This has some grounds in reality as some criminals do indeed pose as food delivery men to gain access to houses. So beware and don’t say cartoons can’t be educational! At least these crooks have the order the customer expected. 

The food delivered, Duckula tucks in to it while Pierre tucks into his hat (Gaston uses it to shut him up). The Count seems to really enjoy his meal, so I guess that's one thing G&P have some talent in! I love how the two comedy Frenchman think they can pass themselves off as Chinese chefs simply by wearing the chef outfits. Thankfully for the PC brigade, they don't attempt any Chinese accents, just their usual silly French ones. But we Brits are legally allowed to mock the French anyway so that's OK. The vases of course are on display at the foot of the dining table and vain Gaston, assuming Duckula’s food is ‘drugg-ed’ and that he is about to conk out, explains that the vases, when placed side by side, form a treasure map. Wait a minute, did they mean to kill Duckula or just knock him out? Either way, they botch it up of course.

 In a cheeky and unexpected gag they rip off their disguises in what they assume to be an impressive display of bravado - Pierre accidentally ripping off ALL this clothes at once! 

Naturally, Pierre has omitted to drug the food so Gaston throws a fit and Duckula has Igor throw them out. My mum always laughed at Pierre's low-key 'Ouch that hurt in mah head' after surving a fall off the cliff. I love this little exchange as Gaston jumps around like a very angry pnuematic drill:

Gaston: I tell you to do one small thing. One small TINY thing and what do you do?
Pierre: Ah don't know Gaston, what do I do?
Gaston: YOU DON'T DO IT! THAT'S WHAT!
Pierre: (smiling) No I don't do I!

Duckula can never resist a good treasure hunt, so off he goes to his magic coffin to transport the castle to Island of Mai Chow to find the hidden treasure of How Fat.

Igor: How Fat, Milord?
Duckula: Not as fat as Nanny that's for sure!
Nanny: I 'eard that!

Nanny actually gives him spank with her magazine for that one!

 The evil Mandarin is ready and waiting though, having received a call from Gaston. Jack May does a terrific job as the Mandarin, making him sound genuinely sinister and in control. 

How Fat – who is a sort of Fu Manchu sort of a character - and his henchman come off as the polar opposite of the French bumblers – organised criminals who are properly organised! Their plan is to allow Duckula to lead them to the treasure and then have him....'entertained.'

Once in the Mandarin's tower, it doesn’t take long for Nanny to accidentally discover a secret passage behind a gargoyle statue (she thinks it’s being rude to her by sticking out its tongue) so Duckula and Igor follow – with the Mandarin and his thugs at a distance behind.

There follows a very funny scene in a restaurant where Jimmy Hibbert’s restaurant owner gets immediately and agressively annoyed at Duckula’s troop breaking through the wall and leaving. Igor’s ‘Thank you and the same to you’ as he leaves could be taken as an insult, but I genuinely get the impression he’s trying to be polite since he can’t understand the owner. There’s also a bit of foreshadowing as Nanny points out that the vase map ‘looks like a squiggle’ More on that later. Then there’s an hilarious contrast between the very short(tempered) owner and the sinister Mandarin and his crooks who follow.

The Mandarin and his crew aren’t the only crooks about. The Mutinous Penguins from the first series are here too (there certainly are a lot of criminals in this one!). Seems the Captain and Mate have heard of the treasure-locating vases and join in the chase. At least the Cap'n is correct in assuming that Duckula is after treasure this time. He refused to believe his missing castle story in his first episode. Mind you, who could blame him? 

 As soon as they leave, How Fat and co. arrive and the restaurant owner immediately becomes polite when he realises who he's dealing with. I’d love to know if this character was based on someone the Cosgrove-Hall bunch knew, he’s just too much fun, although undoubtedly not a character they could have got away with a few years later. Interestingly, I feel it's the pirate captain's use of the word 'duck' that comes across as more of a racial insensitivity than anything else. 

The pirates intercept our trio at the docks and ‘generously’ offer them a boat ride to the ‘Sacred Island of the Tiger Lilly’ (ooo-arrr!). They don’t have much choice to accept as How Fat and his band are closing in. Faced with a bunch of pirates who want half the treasure as payment and to pinch the other half, Duckula soon figures swimming to the island would be the safer option. Too bad they don’t have an inflatable Loch Ness Monster swim ring this time! But they do use Nanny as a floatation device again (technically the first time).

On the island they have no trouble at all locating the secret tunnel as it’s ridiculously and ostentatiously sign-posted, so off they go, followed by a lot of dodgy pirates and Chinese mafia types.

The trail ends with a mistaken identity. At a police station, two cops discuss the tying up of a recent case involving the Royal Bank of China. Interestingly, they are portrayed less caricatured than the villainous Chinese characters, one with a classic ‘now then, now then’ policeman voice, the other a Brummie accent. Duckula assumes that a recovered chest of money from the thwarted bank job is in fact the treasure chest he seeks. The Mandarin does the same and is immediately recognised by the cops as are the pirates who show up soon afterwards! 

"What's happening? We are nicked, that's what's happening! Curses!"

Duckula, thinking on his feet, makes out that he is responsible for leading the villains on, is congratulated by the police and we fade to the final scene. What, no reward? Shocking! That’s probably what’d happen in an American cartoon of the same time but we Brits are so cynical. I like how quickly Duckula changes his tune though when he realises he can't have the treasure, but can at least salvage a moment of glory. He's never depicted as a complete idiot or a total genius, but he's usually smart enough to know when he's onto a good thing.

Back home in Transylvania, as the Count mopes over his back of success, Nanny thinks this might be the time to admit something to her master. We get this little line, dripping with sarcasm.

"You know you said as how those vases was a map or something?"
"Yes I think I did mention it once or twice, Nanny."

 Seems that Nanny broke one of the vases while dusting (surprise surprise!) and glued it together again 'a bit wrong'. This prompts the Count’s scream of pain and anguish and the end of the episode – and the vases. Best get the glue out again, Nanny.

The music is full of delightful Oriental cues plus the familiar Hammer Horror-esque music we’ve come to expect. 'Chinese Link 2' (George Fenton, John Leach) plays under the title card. 'Eastern Magic (F)' (Dick Walter - Track 30) plays when Gaston and Pierre arrive with the food and when the crooks get arrested near the end. Some tracks from the 'Around the World in 80 Minutes' album. 'Oriental Poppy' (track 35) plays as Duckula and co. first arrive in China. 'Oriental' (track 34) plays as the trio run towards the water front and as How Fat and co. do likewise. 'Finger of Fear' (Fredric Bayco) plays us out.

The backgrounds set in China are a lovely contrast to the dull scenics of Transylvania. Lots of yellows and red/orange hues give this adventure a really sunny atmosphere. 
A lot of the pans are at quite adventurous angles and multi-planes which makes piecing them together a little trickier. Still, this is what we have on offer.

The establishing pan uses some pale sickly yellows to offset the dull blue sky along with some mist.

Some shots of the village and it's recent addition.

Great use of light contrast to indicate the bright interior.

Altogether now - BWOOOOONG!

This scene pans to the right on different planes, so what you see here isn't entirely what we see on screen.

 

Whereas this one pans irregulary to indicate the underground passage, so I'm afraid this is the best I can manage.

I wonder if some kind soul could translate any of the wall-hangings in this episode?

I've seen doorways like this nearby.

Trivia

• The 'official' title is ‘Transylvanian Take-away’, but the title card omits the ‘n’. Still makes sense, matey-boy sir. The storyboard below also IDs it without the N. One of three episodes with the word Transylvanian in the title.
• 3^rd appearance of Gaston and Pierre.
• 2^nd appearance of the Pirate Penguins and only time Mr. Mate doesn't vocalise his desire to bite any heads off. 
• Nanny claims that there's no goodness in cardboard when she assumes Duckula means to eat the menu. Guess she must have learned not to feed him it for breakfast after 'Ducknapped.'
• Pierre is the ^2nd  David Jason character to wear a chef's outfit. Duckula wears one in 'Prime Time Duck' and 'The Incredible Shrinking Duck.'

• Out of the numbers Gaston writes on Pierre's chef's hat, only 47 is correct and 53 has been spoonerised. A foretelling of what Victor would suffer from? Not counting this as a goof since this IS Gaston we're talking about and he isn't much brighter than Pierre.

  

  Speaking of numbers, that Heinz 57 can could also be a reference to Danger Mouse's Agent 57.

• For the first and only time, Gaston says ‘It is your fault! It is ALL your fault! It is ALWAYS your fault!’ This would become a regular saying for Victor in ‘Victor & Hugo – Bunglers in Crime.’
• Gaston also says ‘Listen very carefully, I will say this only once…’ This is a nod to the France-based sitcom “‘Allo ‘Allo!” which would have been still on the air at this time. The character Michelle Dubois, the French resistance leader, had this as her catchphrase.
• The take-away the crooks operate is called ‘The Happy Frog' which makes a brief appearance in "The Lost Valley." The name is, appropriately, used in Victor and Hugo as the name of a café, in the book ‘Out To Lunch’. The illustrations of said café use a portrait of Duckula on the walls.
  

• In keeping with Victor & Hugo, another book based on the V&H series called ‘Fu Man’s Choo Choo' used How Fat’s design in the illustrations. He looks mildly different on the cover, but not in the interior drawings so it is clearly the same character. Maybe he escaped jail and had to change his name. His name this time (Fu Man Chow Mein) is a definite pun on Sax Rohmer’s Fu Manchu and connects with the train motif. 
  
  
  
  

• According to Gaston, Duckula’s great great grandfather stole the 2 Ming vases from China a long time ago.
• The telephone box Duckula calls from is labelled ‘thelephone’. This is a Transylvanian spelling? The ‘phone book in the crooks’ restaurant spells it the English way. Duckula uses his teleport ability to get to the call-box and leave after making his call.
• Duckula pronounces vases the American English way, unlike the rest of the characters, who pronounce it the British English way.
• In the kitchen scene, Nanny is reading ‘The Shadow Knows’ upside-down.
  
  
  

• The magic coffin makes an appearance.
• The verse to make the castle move:
  "It is with the greatest pleasure,
  I go to find some hidden treasure.
  Come on castle lets go right now,
  To the Island of Mai Chow!"
• Since it's never written onscreen, I can't be sure of the spelling, but there is a  real place called Mai Chau, but it's in Vietnam. The place here is fictionalised.
• We see the castle leave Transylvania, but we do not see it land in China.
• A Mandarin is actually a type of East Asian duck.
• Apart from the Captain and one other, all the pirates have different colour schemes than in ‘The Mutinous Penguins’ – to blend in perhaps? Soames and Potson had the same treatment when they appeared on ‘Victor & Hugo’. The crow’s-nest pirate (the one in the boater hat) and the one with the headband are not present in the restaurant. They must have been guarding their new ship. They lost their original one in their inaugural episode.
• 3rd time Jack May’s character (How Fat) stands behind a firing cannon, first being Igor in 'Restoration Comedy' and the 2nd, again, in ‘The Mutinous Penguins’ where the hook-handed pirate does the same.
• There are references to Heinz Beans and Sony in the background art. In the take-away kitchen and on a city billboard respectively.
• The restaurant owner is identified as an opium den owner in production material.
• The Captain does another, but different, 50/50 on the treasure joke like he did in 'The Mutinous Penguins'.
• Duckula does not clap on eyes on How Fat properly until the very end where he asks who he is. He either fakes it or only recognises How Fat's ship earlier, to distract the pirates.
• Episode opens and closes with Duckula screaming.
• The joke credit may be a reference to Penge, London, but I'll need someone to explain that joke to me!

Goofs and nitpicks

• Blink and miss it colour error on Duckula's sleeve as he points to his lunch.
• Tiniest little mouth flub on Gaston and Pierre when Gaston says 'no' and Pierre responds 'no?'
• Part of Gaston’s arm disappears when he explains the plan to Pierre.
• The very tip of Igor’s right foot appears in front of a wall which is several steps in front of him in the Mandarin’s hallway.
• Igor’s beak flickers white for a single frame when exiting the restaurant.
• It’s incredibly fast, but the hook-hand pirate appears to have had his hand repaired for a frame or two as he zips out of the restaurant. Maybe he only uses his hook on ship. Another pirate is differently coloured.
• The wall of the police station looks broken before Nanny smashes it. To be fair, the station looks in a poor state of repair anyway. As Duckula is the first to enter, maybe Nanny broke a further part of the wall.
• The Cap’n’s sleeve cuff is coloured as the handcuff in one shot. Unless he has a heavy-duty cuff on that arm. 
• Duckula's wrist flickers a bit when he mopes in the final scene.
  
  
  UPDATE: Some chums have kindly shared some behind the scenes stuff of this episode, a couple of character designs and some storyboard art. What we see here doesn't differ drastically from what ended up on screen, though I think it is a shame Captain going down with the ship joke got trimmed, especially after what happened in 'The Mutinous Penguins.' Art is by John Stevenson. Enjoy, matey-boys!