"No Yaks Please, We're Tibetan"

Season 2 Episode 12 (episode 38 overall) 

Original broadcast date: 28^th November 1989

Writer: Jimmy Hibbert
Additional voices: Ruffles/4^th crow brother/1^st monk/Sviatoslav/Yogi(?)/Yeti: Jimmy Hibbert

                               Burt: David Jason

                               3^rd crow brother/Dmitri/2^nd  
                               Monk: Brian Trueman

                               Abbot: Jack May

Joke credit: Snow – Business like show business

Travel location: Himalayas, Tibet (not necessarily via castle)
Castle transport visual not used.

This is a good fun adventure episode with plenty of comedy moments, often woven into the action and a great ending.

Duckula and his servants are scaling a Tibetan mountain. Why? Because it is there.  The Count of course is enthusiastic about the whole affair while Igor remains sceptical and Nanny doesn’t seem to care one way or another. Why scale a mountain you may ask? Duckula responds with the old chestnut ‘Because it is there!’ ‘Well of course it is, it’s not going anywhere is it?’ Nanny responds. So is Nanny really stupid or just matter-of-fact? Possibly both! Either way she's right and I must admit I’m with Igor on this matter as well. Never attempting something sounds like an excellent idea never to attempt it! It usually means it could be dangerous. Also because I'm not keen on heights. Almost as bad as water. So snowy mountains are right out.

Also attempting the climb are the Crow brothers, though naturally their inclinations are of a more criminal nature. Whereas Duckula wants to achieve mountaineering success (and presumably his usual lust for fame and fortune) the Crows are out to nick yaks-hair carpets from the monastery to sell on to tourists. 

 

Set-up established, there follows a few climbing mishaps for both parties. The Crows do their traditional falling bit (thump, thump, thump…..thump!) several time. Once after Burt gets his hand stood on my a ‘stupid hairy great cow’, once when a rock hits them and once again after Duckula’s yodelling causes an avalanche. Though in the last instance, it’s actually just a tiny drop of water on Ruffles’ head that really causes them to fall! Meanwhile Nanny gets wedged between the aforementioned rock and a hole in the track and invents three-man bungee-jumping in the process.

Later, Duckula, trying to be authentic, decides to dig a hole to shelter for the night. Luckily for him, he gets distracted by Igor & Nanny making for a ‘funny lookin' little 'ouse’ so they decide to shelter there instead. The monks inside immediately panic, not at the sight of a vampire, but because of the ‘yeti’ behind the vampire. In reality it’s only Nanny with a load of snow on her so she shakes it off and the monks calm down. Clearly they aren't aware of how she may treat their doors and walls yet.

The three are welcome to stay the night but the Abbot of the house warns them against continuing lest they run into the real yeti. During their talk with the abbot, he mentions that the Yeti  guards a sacred emerald (‘of immense size’ yet!) which is naturally of interest to the Count. Spying from a high pew, the Crow brothers overhear this and Ruffles decides to change their original plan and go after the emerald instead. Talk about a green-eyed monster! Hehehe! Get it? Oh never mind.

Disguised as monks, they are told to go out and collect some snow to lubricate the looms (now that’s an unusual way to use natural resources!) by a grumpy monk but, mistaking a window for a door, fall out again! They don’t have much luck later when they abandon their disguises and try to hide in the bell-tower. The abbot rings the bell for supper and they fall again! Apparently the meal was an even worse experience. The fact that only Nanny enjoyed it should give you an idea.

The next day, our trio make out for the last leg of their journey. On the way, Nanny tries to ‘help’ a yogi who is meditating cross-legged but only ends up tangling him further. Duckula shows a moment of realism for once (a minor mercy for Igor there!) in that he reflects that the whole yeti and emerald story seems a bit far-fetched ‘in the cold light of day.’ I like how they timed Duckula’s disbelief to coincide with a visual gag about how they all managed to just miss the chance of staying a fancy-sounding hotel. There’s a huge billboard advertising it on the of the peak they’re climbing. A running theme throughout the series is that Duckula not only usually fails to attain his goals, but also that he often just misses out on something great by just being inattentive or unlucky. Father Ted had the same problem – in fact the original ending of ‘Good Luck, Father Ted’ had a similar joke, but was cut in favour of less complication.

 Despite Duckula’s scepticism, he does meet the Yeti at the top of the mountain, but only after the Crows who find him first. The Yeti pings them off his nose and off to who knows where while the emerald klonks the Count on the head and startles him. Fortunately, said Yeti seems to be a very affable fellow. He’s even designed to look like a snowman who is in no way abominable. A supposedly ferocious monster that lives high above cowering villagers? Well, that's something he an the Count have in common at least! He’s also more than ready to help Duckula and co reach the peak by simply picking them up and placing them on his head. This is where the Count makes his big mistake. All nice guys have a breaking point and after a speech-making Duckula unthinkingly sticks his flag in the Yeti’s cranium, we find the Yeti’s one. Seems he really, really hates people sticking things in him (oo-err!) and he goes wild! Despite the obvious menace, this bit’s really pretty damned funny. The Yeti finally snaps and intones ‘No more Mr. Nice Guy!’ before chasing the three of them all over the mountainside as we close the episode. The Crow brothers got off lightly!
 

There's not much else to say about this episode, it's just a great deal of fun. If I went in too deep I'd just be describing each scene as it happens (as if I didn't just do that) and I'm pretty sure Jimmy Hibbert did that well enough already when he wrote the script. Just watch and enjoy. It's got the Crow brothers in it too, so you're guaranteed an extra chuckle.

This episode was broadcast on my brother’s birthday I seem to recall he got a Duckula toy that year as well. I always associate this episode with a ‘Wacky Warehouse’ type of place we went to at the weekend to celebrate. I even tried out the clock bats joke on some younger kids and got a chuckle. Also, Toad of Toad Hall’s birthday is 28^th November as well according to the episode of his series imaginatively called ‘Happy Birthday.’ This epsiode would have been broadcast a week prior to ‘No Yaks’ on the 20^th November, though some sources claim 29^th May 1990 – a day after my own birthday! Not sure which is correct.

Musicwise we get a lot of mystical sounding oriental cues and a fair few gong bwongs. Some music under the Crow brothers’ first scene was last heard near the end of ‘Transylvanian Take-away.’ 'Uneasy Feeling' by Jack Trombey plays during the Crows spying in the monastery. The jingle that plays when we see the billboard was also used for the dancing skeletons in ‘Ghostly Gold.’ It is 'Saloon Bar Hoedown' (Dick Water) track 22.11 We close with some horror music that was also heard near the end of ‘The Return of the Curse…’ and ‘The Zombie Awakes.’ Unfortunately, I can’t name any of these tracks. Elgar's ‘Land of Hope and Glory’ plays when Duckula makes his patriotic speech and the sting we hear when he plants his flag (Drama Sting 2 - Paul Ferris) gets used in ‘Avenger Penguins’ quite a bit. The clock bats theme is 'Vamp Til Ready' by Wally Asp and is available here. Track 88.

A few pans here. Naturally, they are mainly of the mountainsides. 

No model sheet walks in the monastery!

Trivia

*The title is a reference to the very first episode, ‘No Sax Please, We’re Egyptian’ which was in itself a reference to the comedy film ‘No Sex Please, We’re British’. David Jason featured in the stage play version of that film in 1973.

*Episode does not begin with a scream but ends in plenty!

*The trio are scaling the east face of the fictitious Mount Duckapurna.

* Duckula's 'Because it is there!' retort is a quote from mountaineer George Mallory (or should that be Mallard?)

*4^th appearance of the Crow Brothers.

*Duckula mispronounces ‘nil desperandum’ as ‘kneel desperandum’! It’s Latin and means ‘do not despair.'

*He also sings a brief bit of ‘Climb Every Mountain’ from ‘The Sound of Music.’

*Unless you count the clock bats scene, we do not see the castle at all in this episode. We certainly do not see its exterior.

*The monk who answers the door speaks in Jimmy’s voice but looks like Jack’s monk character. All the monks are deliberately designed to looks similar though.

*The Abbot’s name is Yarlung Tsangpo Tian Tsangpo Brahmaputra. I’m sure he’ll forgive me if I spelt that wrong.

*Duckula is OK with entering a monastery. I wonder if his relatives would have it so easy.

* Ruffles refers t ohis group as 'the brothers' when talking to the monk. This could be a double pun as monks are indeed a brotherhood of their own

*The very English-sounding Igor pronounces yoghurt the American way (or in my case, the Scottish way). It facilitates a pun though, just don’t get my English wife started on how to pronounce it properly. We could be here for days.

*The trio narrowly miss a sign advertising the nearby ‘Shangri La Hotel.’ Shangri La is a fictional place from the novel ‘The Lost Horizon’ by James Hilton apparently to be found in the Kunlun Mountains. Igor even bemoans the fact that hotels seem to be very scant in the area earlier in the episode.

*Rather typically, the one time Duckula refuses to believe a tall tale about a valuable treasure, it turns out to be real. It even hits him on the head and he doesn’t see it.

*There exists a webcomic called 'Tales of the Emerald Yeti'. Maybe there is some connection? 

*Nanny does not destroy any doors or walls in this one!

*Alan Case is credited as the storyboard artist. He drew for the Count Duckula annuals and his art also appears on the UK DVD sets.

Goofs and nitpicks

*Igor’s tie disappears for a couple of brief shots near the start.

*Colour error on Igor’s eyebrows on an overhead shot near the start and when he leaves the monastery.